Friday, January 21, 2005

Oh, how the Smart have fallen!

My Smart--the apple of my eye!--the cream in my coffee!--the head on my beer!--the hole from my donut!
My poor little Smart got real sick, and the only people I have to blame are the filthy French.

While traveling late one night from A to B (A being beautiful Old Chinatown; B being character-filled Parkdale), my lovely fiancee by my side, the Smart's dashboard lit up like a Christmas tree and lost all special braking control.

To many, this might have been cause for alarm; having piloted the Heart of Darkness (my '69 Fairlane Ranchero), where braking control could never be taken for granted, this was just par for the course.

Over the course of 11 days, my Smart's diagnosis from the Service Department at Downtown Mercedes-Benz went from "minor" to "critical failure"--the Old Yeller type of critical failure--and a "minor seal problem" led to "total wiring overhaul".

As the Smart was birthed in France, I say "J'accuse!". Thanks in part to what I suspect was an unscheduled croissant and wine break while the Foreman was away, my Smart got a bellyache that led to some pretty major replacements.
I'm surprised, as the French have a long history of working very well with the Germans.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Twenty-Four Hour Salt!

My brother, who chose to move from the Don Jail escape corridor to very nearly into the tennis courts of Mimico Jail, has a new threat to his home. . .and this time it has nothing to do with raccoons eating his beloved goldfish.

To his rear a new industrial development which would see cement production, and the advertised promise of road salt to be available around the clock to serve a sodium-hungry public better, threaten the sanctity of his hot tub and barbecue oasis.

This has an obvious impact on my freeloading lifestyle.

His wife is very handy with a computer; the neighbours have turned out to be very organised, and very pissed off. The last information meeting, my brother reported, saw screaming and yelling unlike anything the 8 city officials present have ever seen. City counselor Mark Grimes took the raspberries and waved middle fingers during December's Santa Claus parade through New Toronto as a 'call to arms', and has since worked closely with the Citizens of New Toronto to stay cancer-free!

Check it out.
Looking for a hot date with Municipal politics? Join them.