"Fuck you, bitches! I'm coming for your women!"
Frightening? Not when you live in the neighbourhood that I do. No, murderous statements screamed into the cold dark night by unseen provocateurs, are pretty much the norm. So when this guy, a slight drunk Asian twenty-something, sped past my lookout it was pretty much business as usual.
"Old ladies, I am coming for you! I will kill you!! Fuck you!"
"Call the police! I want you to! I want them to shoot me!!"
and on he went.
His rant was filling prime air time usually occupied by a series of "zzzzzzz" coming out of my nose (they are invisible zeds, of course, but you get the idea), so I quickly tired of him and his blanket threat to "bitches", "old ladies", and the all-encompassing "you". My brother got tired of him, too. So just as we were getting ready to chase him off our street and on to another, making it their problem, a fella steps out his door and says, and get this: "Hey, Friend, why don't you come into my place and have some tea and we'll talk about what's wrong."
Typical bible thumper reaction. Call the guy "friend" and throw some tea on his problem. THAT'LL fix whatever is causing him to rip-roar up and down our street a 1am screaming obscenities. Chris and I were skeptical that this 'good Samaritan' could diffuse the situation. We figured that he had seen one too many Westerns where the generic 'wild one' was stared into submission by the Sheriff.
Our skepticism turned out to be founded, as less than four minutes of silence passed before all I heard was a mighty:
"FUCK YOU, BITCHES!!"
And saw this streak zip by my window. I think of him now only as the Asian Jimmy Stewart, who found no relief from his demons through the help of a good Samaritan or tea, and likely only slept quietly that night, thanks in no small part, to Captain Morgan.