Very few people will know this, but there is a place in Toronto that prices ceramic busts of Elvis at very competitive rates.
Or so they say.
I was on Parliament St. the other day, and happened across a joint that pedals all sorts of ceramic fare--ceramic greyhounds, ceramic Big Birds, ceramic Porky Pigs--but the ceramic token to rule them all is surely the Ceramic Elvis.
They carry Him to two very nice finishes: gold lamé; and 'living colour'.
I, being a dyed-in-the-wool Elvis fan (my mum hung a grinning, guitar-toting Elvis poster at the foot of my bed when I was young), felt immediately drawn to it. The only other person I have even known to own a gold lamé bust of Elvis Presley was our childhood babysitter H--it should be mentioned that she also, as a result of an unhealthy fascination with "Gone With The Wind", named her child 'Katie Scarlet'. This is not good company with which to align yourself.
Nevertheless, I wanted it.
My fiancée is nearly as big an Elvis fan as my mother--which means that come June I must buy 2 of Carlton Cards "Limited Edition" Singing Elvis Presley Christmas Ornaments--so, I'm in effect, investing in the future.
I enter this store. I price the bust of the King of Rock'n'Roll. It's &29.99. My inner voice cries "Horseshit!". I approach the till.
B- "Would you take $20.00 cash for a gold lamé?"
A- "We have the cheapest price in city for Elvis. $29.99 is a good price. You will not find better."
B- "Cheapest in the city? You guys are actually in a price war with other ceramic Elvis bust distributors? I don't believe you."
But A stayed firm. She argued that $29.99 was indeed the cheapest price, and invited me to find cheaper. I, as a matter of fact, know where the Ceramic Elvis bust is the SAME price (Parliament & Gerrard) but didn't feel like really getting into it by splitting hairs. I mean, if I was feeling energetic, I would have suggested she move her prices to $29.98.
I was not.
The sad thing is, I still don't have a bust of the King in my procession. If anyone happens to know where such a bust may be bought for less than $29.98--count me in!
Now that the Pope is dead, I need something to guide me.