Saturday, April 30, 2005

Karma Police

When I heard the pop of beer crowns at 10am, I knew there was going to be trouble.

My neighbours on the first floor bought a house, and are moving today with the help of a rather rag-tag group of "professionals". It is clear, by the long lines of tar sealant on their big yellow truck, that there isn't a spot they won't try to cram their conveyance into.

The popping of some Grolsch bottles was followed by the sound of breaking glass. The fellow responsible for that most terrifying of all the moving sounds (next to 'snap', 'bump' and 'oh fuck!') didn't know I was watching him when he threw the crowbar he used as a church key onto the floor of the truck. He didn't know that I saw the crowbar bounce off the floor and smash a mirror. Whoopsch! He certainly didn't notice me when he looked around nervously, then took a moving blanket and laid it over the mess of broken glass. He tippy-toed off the truck,

Tippy-toed!
He looked ridiculous tippy-toeing.
He looked even more ridiculous tripping down the ramp as he tippy-toed because, while making his clandestine exit he tilted back his head and took a long, celebratory swig off his bottle. The perfect crime! However, this swig carried his gaze skywards, off his feet, and he tripped.
If you can't multitask--don't.
If you can't walk without looking at your feet--don't take your eyes off your feet.
If you can't multitask, and must always be able to see your feet while walking--don't become a mover.
Beer will not help cure the shortcomings listed above.


And now one of them has been sprayed by a skunk!
What the fuck!!
It's midday; they're making so much noise that they couldn't sneak up on Helen Keller, and one of them gets sprayed by a skunk!!
These guys are a pack of mongoloids.
or
It could be Karma for the broken mirror.

Can mongoloids get bad Karma?

3 comments:

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