Monday, July 10, 2006

How To Fail In Business

We've been getting a lot of hail in Calgary recently.

Two hail episodes ago I was stuck on a rooftop patio for a "Summer Solstice" party; it was me and a bunch of wine guys and gals. It was hailing cats and dogs, and of course I was the only dude without an umbrella. Because I'm just the beer guy, right?

Perhaps it was the pounding my poor brainbox was taking from the marble-sized hail that led me to choose, after 15 minutes of pretty steady precipitationl, to assemble an ice ball from my table top and throw the most perfect bean ball right at one of my retailer's head. Normally I have the worst aim in the entire world.
Couldn't hit the broadside of a barn.


This time, my ice ball connected perfectly with E's ear. She was that type of "surprised" that, if you read between the lines, was thinly veiled hatred. I felt bad. To make up for my poor choice, I threw a few more ice balls at the wine guys--and my aim, I'm glad to report, was flawless.

My arm was so red hot that an Italian guy I didn't even consider throwing an iceball at collapsed and started clutching his head, either out of fear or natural predisposition to melodrama.

. . . but at least Superman is a prick too. Hey Metropolis! Check out what kind of SPORTSMAN your precious Man of Steel is!!

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